home. puking in laundry basket.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
