Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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