That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Did I show you my penis last night?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm getting married
To pizza
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
