So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
