im holly from the hills drunk
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I think your dad took our porno
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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