I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
