I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
where are my pants?
in the oven.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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