pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My ass is underappreciated
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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