Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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