Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
