so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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