life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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