How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize