...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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