i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
