I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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