I think my vagina is haunted
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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