All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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