he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
