Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
