if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
