question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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