we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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