Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
