My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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