im gay
i know
yea but for you.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
