May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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