am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
