well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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