Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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