I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
last night I used snow as a chaser
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