stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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