he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
