You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
