did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
