I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
