With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
