No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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