he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
