dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Sext me about skeletons
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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