i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
