This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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