this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
