wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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