He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Damn victory sex feels great
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
