I'd wear matching sweaters with you
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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