Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
