is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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