there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
