You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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