She said her name was "party"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
