new low.... made out with someone while peeing
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
