Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Is it penis luge time yet?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
