I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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