sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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