you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
