Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
