Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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