Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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