what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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