In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
