well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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